How to Protect Your Peace and Still Show Up Online: Building Self-Concept and Boundaries as a Soft-Spoken Activist

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In this manifesto…
We’re not just talking clap backs and digital shade—we’re talking true energetic authority. This blog is for the soft-spoken disruptor, the spiritually rooted Black woman who's stepping into her power without being pulled into the mess. It’s for the woman who wants to build community, business, and a better world—without compromising her peace. Inside, we’re unpacking how one Facebook comment became a spiritual lesson in identity, boundaries, and Black self-awareness. We’re turning petty into power and figuring out how to stand firm without giving everything our energy. This is your blueprint for showing up online without losing yourself.

The Post That Sparked a Whole Identity Check

Let me take you back to the moment. I made a simple Facebook post in a few local groups because I needed a company to help with a move-out clean. I was clear and direct: No Venmo. No Zelle. No Cash App. No cash. No checks. Just credit card.

Why? Because I’m paying with a credit card. Period. That’s the choice I’ve made for financial and practical reasons—and honestly, I shouldn’t even have to explain that.

Now, most of the comments were helpful. People shared availability, contact info, recommendations. Love that. But then one person drops this little grenade: “Sounds suspicious that you’ll only pay by credit card. People can charge back and scam us.”

Excuse me?

In that moment, all of my growth and maturity felt like it was hanging by a thread.

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The Urge to Respond…and the Wisdom to Pause

Did I respond? Oh, I started to. I typed something spicy:
“That mindset says more about you than anyone else.”

And then…I deleted it.

Not because I didn’t mean it. But because I realized something deeper was happening. This wasn’t just about a Facebook post. This was a moment of becoming. A test of my evolving identity.

Why That One Comment Bothered Me More Than the Obvious Racist

Another comment popped up, this time from someone calling the area I live in a “sh*thole” and saying they “wanted it back the way it was 6–7 years ago.” A quick scroll on their profile? Full of Trump, Elon Musk, and flags galore. (hmm, I’m sure “Native Americans” feel the same way!)

That didn’t even raise my blood pressure.

But the woman who hinted that I was trying to scam people? That hit differently. Why?

Because it wasn’t just ignorant—it was presumptive. It was rooted in the stereotype of the “untrustworthy Black woman.” It was that subtle anti-Black microaggression that tries to dress itself up as concern.

Welcome to Your Activist Era, Sis

This moment became a turning point.

If I’m stepping into a more visible space—talking about Black liberation, soft living, blogging as activism—then I have to get used to resistance. And not just the loud, MAGA-hat-wearing kind. The subtle. The slippery. The sneakily toxic.

I had to ask myself two powerful questions:

1. What Is the Outcome I Want?

When these situations happen, what do I actually want?

Do I want to “win” the argument?
Do I want to teach them something?
Do I want to feel seen?

Or…

Do I want to stay rooted in peace and power?

Not every moment is a teachable one—especially when the student didn’t raise their hand. I’m learning that my peace is too expensive to spend on people who aren’t even trying to meet me halfway.

2. Who Am I Choosing to Be?

This is the deeper work. The long game.

Self-concept. Identity. Legacy.

Who do I want to be in the face of opposition?
How do I want to show up when I’m misunderstood?
Am I committed to growth or just clapping back?

There isn’t a right or wrong answer, but just like you….These are questions only I can answer—and they’re guiding me toward a new self-awareness.

Because listen—you can be someone who speaks truth and still protects your peace. It can be a both/and situation. Not everything has to be an either/or.

Lessons for the Soft Disruptor

If you're also navigating the tension of wanting to speak up while preserving your energy, here’s what I’m learning:

• Not every comment deserves a response. Sometimes silence is strategy.

• Your triggers are teachers. But you get to decide if class is in session.

• Self-concept is the compass. If you know who you are, you don’t have to prove anything.

• Boundaries = abundance. You don’t have to engage to be empowered.

• Teachable moments are invitations, not impositions. Let people opt in. If they don’t, bless and release.

How to Practice This Daily

Here are a few reflection questions to help you build this muscle:

• What kind of presence do I want to have online?

• What kind of energy do I want to lead with?

• How do I want to feel after interacting with others online?

• What does my highest self do when someone disrespects me?

Final Word

I’m learning that protecting my peace is not weakness—it’s wisdom. And wisdom is revolutionary.

If you’re on a similar path—choosing soft power, sacred activism, and aligned identity—you are not alone. Let’s keep becoming.

Call to Action:
Sis, if this post stirred something in you—if you’re realizing it’s time to protect your energy while standing firm in your purpose—don’t keep it to yourself.

✨ Leave a comment and share your experience.
✨ Share this post with your soft disruptor sisters.
✨ Support the movement by donating on Ko-fi—you’ll receive a powerful monthly digital gift made to nurture your soul.

Let’s protect our peace, redefine power, and keep becoming. Together. 💛

Live Pleasurably,

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